Spreading it around less

I've decided I'd amuse myself more and annoy others less indiscriminately if I post the things I think are clever on my own blog. For example, today I sent the following as an e-mail to a complete stranger, but rather than letting it languish in that one victim's spam bin, I will reproduce it here and perhaps curtail one nasty habit while inaugerating a new one.

In the bathroom this morning I just realized that the hair-care industry needs the Beaufort Scale. My fiancee's hair gel rates "6X," according to the bottle, and I suppose this has to do with its fluidity vs water. But a coiffer wants to know how a prospective do will resist gravity, torque and, above all, wind. How does "6X" enlighten him or her about that? Poorly, I can't help thinking. I suspect the hair of the admiral is frizzing in his grave.