Sunday, April 24, 2005

The social animal instruction set (v 0.5)

You want to breathe
(but you dislike hyperventilation)
You want to consume food and water
(but you dislike over-eating and over-watering)
You want to expel accumulated metabolic waste products
You want to hump sexy and admired members of the opposite sex
(But you want approximately nothing for the short while after the gametes are on their way and conception's out of your hands)
You want to help and protect the embryo and offspring
You want to be sexy and admired
You admire those you can't beat and those that beat others fairly
You fear what's dangerous, and you flee what you fear
You hate what obstructs what you want, and you attack what you hate

Glossary:

Sexy = reproductively fit
Beat = Depends on the game
Fairly = Ditto

What's off or missing?

1 comment:

MT said...

You take nine months to gestate and you come out nearly defenseless and needing lots of nurture.


Actually, I suppose there's little about our physiology and physical environment that could be left out. Not to mention the nitty gritty of communication. Life's pretty complicated, really.